For a long time I have been trying to say no. Being pulled in so many directions, and not to mention a major “fear of man”, I always said yes to everything being asked of me. Never wanting to disappoint the people around me. Never wanting to let anyone down. In the meantime, drowning myself with the vast amount of commitments I had said a resounding “YES!”.
I left no room for me. No room for taking care of myself. So I decided, who cares what people think? Just say “NO!”. Pretty sure that’s a tag line for a anti-drug commercial. But I needed more no in my life. So I took it upon myself to say no to the PTA. Say no to coaching more when I really couldn’t make it work. It was going to be ok. Everyone really isn’t going to hate you. Or are they? If they do, isn’t that on them? Not me? Isn’t it ok for me to choose my own health?
Then I got really good at saying no. So much so, that my daughter is hearing it too many times. You see, she’s feeling the crushing weight of no all day at school. Some girls are being a bit mean. Something I have been waiting for. Some parents warn you of this, but it’s always, “Wait until she’s 15! She’s going to really be going through it then! Girls are so mean at school.” You really don’t want to believe it. How is it possible that girls are so mean to each other? Where are they learning that? Don’t answer that just yet. Ha! I never imagined that at 12 years old, the name calling, back stabbing, and soul crushing bullying would be happening and not to mention from friends she has spent a lot of time with. She’s been hearing “No” all day at school and then comes home and just wants to spend quality time with people that are going to say “YES!”.
I am pretty sure Stella would play a board game with you all day long. Guess what I don’t want to do all day long? Play a board game. I mean, she’s going to pick Monopoly, not Uno. Because she want’s that time. She doesn’t want one round. She wants hours of connection. The problem is, that’s inconvenient. I started saying no. Too often. I made it about me and my time. Not thinking of her time. What she needed. So I am going to have to start learning to say “Yes” again.
In this world, we are going to need to get uncomfortable. Be inconvenienced. For those that need our time. There’s joy in that time and an incredible bond is made when you give of yourself when it’s most inconvenient. This is a work in progress for me. Using a “Yes” to bring light to someone’s life.
